A couple of months ago, I posted a short article about our decision to keep our daughter home this year, instead of sending her to preschool. In September, we set about the task of creating a hybrid home learning environment–a little Montessori….a little Waldorf and a little bit of us. After purchasing a wide range of art supplies, imaginative play costumes, open-ended toys and Montessori materials, we created a space for our daughter to dream, learn and grow.
Her time at home has been supplemented by outside classes, three days a week. Music and gymnastics have provided her with older friends–friends that she looks forward seeing on a regular basis.
One thing that we have been committed to from the start is following our daughter’s lead and interests. As a result, we have tried to expose her to a wide variety of people, activities and environments–always keeping an open mind about the type of environment that would be best.
There were some environments that we loved simply because they were beautiful and inspiring, offering children a place to be creative and play. Other environments seemed to offer a great opportunity for the inquisitive child to learn about a wide range of subjects….at their own pace. We were informed by developmental research and a desire to keep in mind the ‘age-appropriateness’ of the activities on offer.
At some point in this process, however, I began to experience a tension–a tension which seemed all too familiar, given my own educational experience. Our daughter, now age 2 years 10 months, started asking lots of questions about ‘academic’ subjects. She wanted to know about letters–what sounds they made and how to write them. She asked about words and how to spell them. She got frustrated when I would not let her ‘write’ with my pen.
We knew about early academics, Piaget’s operational stage of development and the need for children to ‘just play,’ but….. the task of following our daughter’s lead (in this case) challenged us to respect her uniqueness and not shield her from the early learning that she wanted to do.
So……I purchased the Montessori sandpaper letters, moveable alphabet and a tracing pad. Our daughter loved tracing the letters with her fingers and saying aloud the sounds that they made.
(Click here to see Abigail demonstrate sandpaper letters)
Within a few short weeks, it was clear that she had learned most of the short sounds. Everywhere we went, she would point out letters and tell me what sounds they made. She would find letters in her books, letters on her clothes, letters on street signs. Letters were everywhere.
Still committed to following her lead, I decided to introduce her to the moveable alphabet, a classic teaching tool found in Montessori preschools. With wooden letters, (red for consonants and blue for vowels) children develop an awareness of the relationship between individual letters, sounds and words.
I decided to start ‘building words’ with the movable alphabet and to my suprise, my daughter decoded them by sounding out each of the letters.
(Click here to see Abigail ‘decoding’ words.)
At 2 years 9 months, she told us that she could sound out three and four letter words. Now, one month later, she wants to try to read everything.
I completely agree that children these days are bombarded at an early age with academics. I agree that we should fight for our children’s right to be children. When I put on my ‘development hat,’ I am reminded of the pitfalls of ‘teaching’ a child to read before the age of 6 or 7.
From personal experience, however, I know that sometimes following our child’s lead (I mean REALLY following our child’s lead) means taking off the ‘development hat’ and respecting the uniqueness of the early learner.
This week we are taking a look at early learning programmes in Georgia….
If you have been following MOMboTV over the last few weeks, you know that we are up to ’something’…..something BIG. Be sure to tune in to MOMbo TV Saturday, July 11th, when we will finally make our BIG announcement!
Yup….We’re still planning to make that ‘big announcement’…….but until we do….Here’s another hint……
Big things are happening here at MOMbo TV! We’ll be making an ‘official’ announcement soon…..but….in the meantime….here’s a little hint.
Have a great summer….and be sure to check back often!
In Guatemala, MercyCorps is training a small group of mothers in the art of beekeeping. The community is buzzing about these women and how they are using their newfound skills to generate a sweet income. To learn more, please visit mercycorps.org
Blueprint for a Better World is an interactive traveling exhibit that is currently making its way around the continent of Australia. A partnership between Caritas International and the Australian Government, the Blueprint Exhibit educates children about the promise of governments to work toward the eradication of extreme poverty and hunger by the year 2015.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Way to go! I blend some Montessori techniques. I too use a hybrid technique. I think that is the uniqueness about homeschooling. It can be so tailored to each individual learning thrives when the child is ready. My children are older and now need much more prompting to learn.
Engrafted by His Grace-
Shonda
November 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Hi Shonda! Thank you so much for the encouragement. So far, we are really enjoying the flexibility of home learning. Right now, my daughter looks forward to each day–asking ‘Mom….What do I get to do tomorrow?’
Relying on His Grace,
Kemi
November 17th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I am appalled with your statement “I completely agree that children these days are bombarded at an early age with academics. I agree that we should fight for our children’s right to be children. When I put on my ‘development hat,’ I am reminded of the pitfalls of ‘teaching’ a child to read before the age of 6 or 7.” I was able to read before the age of 3 and I had a wonderful childhood. I was able to be a child and able to read at the same time. Because of my mother’s willingness to teach me to read, I was able to read when I entered preschool and now that I am a sophomore in college I cannot thank her enough for that. I have always been ahead of my peers and graduated 4th in my class with a GPA of 4.013. If you think that educating your daughter will hinder her from being a child, then you should look at children who never were educated and see what kind of childhood they had.
November 17th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Steph, I’m another person who was taught to read young, because I was REALLY ready, and REALLY wanted to. I think this is post is referring to the potential pitfalls of trying to force reading on a kid who’s not ready to read–which research has shown does no good and may even backfire. Also plenty of research indicates that, overall, kids who read younger do not necessarily read BETTER and that kids who are late readers aren’t doomed to being behind. My 11-year-old son was a “late” reader (not reading at all until he was 7…not even NEAR fluent until he was well past
and now he’s a voracious reader and very bright besides. A lot of factors go into academic success; early reading and early academics are not nearly one of them. It amuses me that you are so appalled by this when it would appear you’re just going by your own personal experience, which doesn’t really prove anything (I was reading by 3, and a crummy student who barely got out of high school. Sure, I learned to read. And there’s a lot that being a ‘precocious reader’ meant I never HAD to learn, until it was too late for my high-school GPA…like how to struggle through a difficult piece of work.)
I can only imagine that early childhood education is not your major.
November 17th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Steph -I don’t think that’s exactly what she meant. You’re in college. As a MOTHER, I completely understand what she is saying. We have a tendency in this society to overstimulate our children. To push our children into academics, sports, and even adulthood before they are developmentally ready. As the OP indicated, she let her daughter take the lead and followed. She didn’t deny her an education. She didn’t deny her obviously gifted child the academic stimulus she obviously is craving and ready for. She was expressing her caution at not being a pushy mom. That’s all. I for one applaud her. My 3 year old knows some letters/phonics, but really doesn’t show interest in reading at this point. Instead of being a competitive mom and pushing her to learn things she’s not ready for, I let her experience preschool and learn what it is that she is ready for. I don’t believe she’ll be academically disadvantaged. I believe that she is not developmentally ready for that yet. And that’s fine. Also - there are plenty of talented and gifted children who actually appear behind. So Steph, I applaud your passion and your accomplishments.. but really, I think she was emphasizing that she was in tuned to what her daughter needed and was cautious to not push her into something she wasn’t ready for.
November 17th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I learned to read at age 4. By 2nds grade I could read at a tenth grade level.
You are completely right to follow her lead. There is nothing for frustrating that to try and teach a child something she isn’t ready to learn, and nothing more rewarding than seeing her grasp every bit of information!
Steph, I see what you’re saying, but I think what the writer is trying to get across is that many are forcing kids to learn too early. I have 5 brothers, only one of which read before age 7. They just weren’t ready before then. My mom tried very hard with the oldest one and they both ended up frustrated. When they are ready, they catch on fast!
It’s not that we should purposefully hold them off till age 6-7, but if they need to be a child for a bit longer, then let them. Sometimes their minds just aren’t ready!
Congrats on the home schooling! I was home schooled from age 4 (when I started to read on my own) through graduation. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
November 17th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Wow- I love this post! We design our classrooms in such a similar manner. To push a child to read for the sake of reading does nothing for the child. There are different levels of reading. I home school. My kids have never been in school. We read A LOT and they pretend read back to me. I have never pushed our quizzed my kids. Now at age 5 1/2 my daughter has a love for learning and is writing sentences. Had I pushed her, I know she would not love to read. Every child is different. To push a child ( in a classroom setting ) to read just to pass state tests so the school can get better scores and more money is hurtful!
November 17th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
I think it is a really hard balance. My husband was taught to read at an early age, was in accelerated classes until there were other issues with the school. And by middle school he was burned out (his words, not mine). By the time he was a senior in high school he was over school and had no desire to continue on to college. I think you are absolutely correct that following your child’s interest and leads is very important, and I think you’ve learned and written about an important lesson…that following the lead of the child sometimes means stepping outside of what your parenting/teaching philosophy might be.
With all due respect to Steph above, our kids ARE bombarded very early in life with academics. And it looks like for you it worked out great, and it makes me happy you are enjoying your academic career. But my daughter is four and they are sending her home from pre-school with addition and subtraction homework (and I do not mean here are some apples I take away the apple, how many do I have, I mean a sheet of paper with 2 + 2 = ____). We refuse to do it because it is completely age INappropriate for a 4 year old who otherwise shows no interest in it.
And as always it boils down to theories as theories, philosophies as philosophies and children as individuals…
November 17th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Good on you for following your child’s lead and using your own instincts. I agree that the “pressure” of academics can start extremely early and I’m all for trying to avoid that if possible.
But when the desire and the learning is coming FROM the child, then you’re doing what’s best.
I have friends who unschool their kids and I have done some reading on the subject–including a pioneer in the method whose son had no desire to learn to read (and didn’t) until he was nearly 14. After I got over my initial shock, I realized that he was perfectly fine and reading and studying on his own, in spite of his late start.
I’m sure the mom had to fight a lot of external pressure to force her son to acquire this skill but she stuck to her guns and produced a healthy, intelligent, inquisitive adult.
I myself learned to read before 3 but I’m not pressuring my own kids to learn this–my 4 1/2 year old learned his letters very early (19 months) and is constantly asking me spelling questions, which makes me suspect he’s starting to read on his own. I don’t ask him to read words for me and try not to put him on the spot. My daughter is 2 1/2 and doesn’t know her letters but that’s not even close to an age appropriate skill so I’m letting her move along at her own pace.
I think I benefited from being an early reader but I know parents who are sweating bullets because their children don’t know their letters in PRESCHOOL, let alone kindergarten. It’s too much societal pressure on parents to push this issue!
I applaud the trend towards child-led education because I do think it will result in less boredom and more passion about learning in children–which is really the point.
November 17th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Came here from your Tweet!
You are awesome. I have homeschooled my oldest from 7th grade through High School. She is now a sophomore in college. My youngest is in the 9th grade and she has homeschooled since 2nd grade. I decided to homeschool because my oldest was having trouble. She just took longer to do her work. She was and is the godliest child I have ever met, with wisdom, compassion, and more common sense than most adults I know. Academics just weren’t her thing. She hated reading. My youngest has read The Hiding Place, Christy, The Canterbury Tales, Scarlet Letter, and Animal Farm, already this year. She loves to read. She soaks up information like a sponge. Thus the joy of homeschooling! They both get to be who God created them to be. They aren’t judged by their performance, their teachers, or their pears. They learn at their own pace and therefore learn the greatest lesson. Learning is fun and exciting! Mission accomplished. They will continue to learn and discover for the rest of their lives, in their own way, in their own time.
Just like Steph was able to be Steph, you are right to let Abigail be Abigail, and I was right to let my Tosh be Tosh.
November 20th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Came over here from Twitter as well (@stevieknight) !
Great topic regardless of the controversy. I’m decidedly in the “teach ‘em early but respect individual differences” camp, though one would only consider one of my children (out of 5) having actually started early. My lifestyle hasn’t quite caught up to my educational philosophy yet and sometimes you simply have to be grateful that everyone’s headed in the right direction! LOL!
My kids (ages 6 - 20) have thrived in an environment where they see their parents continually learning and growing. Being raised in France, I deplore much of what I’ve seen of a “whimpy” education system in the US. But then I shouldn’t be too surprised as I view most schools as indoctrination centers to mold the masses rather than centers of real learning that helps the individual child excel!
We’ve chosen a family and entrepreneurship focused lifestyle and it works for us. All my kids are reading (well…the youngest is still a beginner but that’s ok for her) and are beginning to understand their parents’ reading addiction.
I have come to value the wisdom to be found both in accelerated education and relaxed unschooling which might seem at opposite poles but work well for us in our non-traditional setting.
Our view is that education is a banquet and the world is our banquet table. We pick what’s best for our kids and our family and they have choices as well. While we’re not the poster family for homeschooling, I hope my children will always value the opportunity we’ve all had to learn and grow and work together.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I completely agree that children can be overstimulated and become burned out at a young age, but not allowing your child to begin the road to reading when they are ready and eager can also be a mistake. Children begin to lose the ability to learn how to read when they come close to the age of 10. While it is true that people of any age can be taught to read and write, it becomes much much harder to learn and become fluent.
I am not against letting children learn at their own pace, I just have a problem with parents holding their children back because other children of the same age are not doing that. I personally hate the “No Child Left Behind” program because while it does provide some aid for children who do need it, but children like myself who were advanced no longer get the enrichment we needed. I am very thankful that I was able to get into an enrichment program in elementary school so that I could be stimulated writing research papers and making terrariums in second grade while my schoolmates were learning how to read time on a clock.
I agree that there are pitfalls to being pushed to read at too young an age when a child is not interested or resistant to learn. Don’t get me wrong I want kids to be able to be kids; but don’t hold them back them something that will truly be theirs for the rest of their lives.